Brown Thumb Bob's Korny Kernels of Wisdom-

2/28/2025- My cat shits in the tub, but my dog eats it, so I'm Even Steven.

3/1/2025- I can doesn't mean I should.

3/2/2025- Anything involving a hot dog is inherently funny. Or poo, for that matter.

3/3/2025- A chorus pedal makes you sound like new wave from 1983.

3/4/2025- If you feed seagulls french fries, they're more likely to shit on your car.

3/6/2025- Cognitive dissonance- I'm gettin' a bit shorter as I get older, but my feet seem to be gettin' a lot farther from my hands when I tie my shoes.

3/7/2025- Yer dick looks bigger when yer thin.

3/8/2025- Stuhlgang is a great name for a punk or nu metal band.

3/9/2025- There's a fine brown line in between cute and nasty.

3/10/2025- The ravens are waiting for you to die so they can peck out your eyes.

3/13/2025- If you do the same idiotic thing consistently for a long time, someone will think that you are brilliant.

3/14/2025- Dried orange peels are very flammable and make fine aromatic kindling.

3/15/2025- Black coffee gets spittle off of guitar laquer.

3/16/2025- If you gotta eat someone, fat rich people with good health insurance probably taste better than poor folks. We're eating the wrong people.

3/18/2025- Empty coal trains rattle, loaded trains rumble.

3/19/2025- I chew corn thoroughly but it's still whole kernels in my dookie. Why? Maybe my colon re-assembles it.

3/21/2025- We need a Frank Zappa badly right now.

3/23/2025- If you try to force a big round peg into a small square hole, you'll fuck up the hole and put the squeeze on the peg.

3/31/2025- Talapia live in a pond downstream from the other fish ponds because they eat the other fish' shit. I know how they feel.

4/13/2025- Little fellers make shitty cops.

4/19/2025- Reduced cheese consumption facilitates a slimmer toilet paper bill.